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Every time you roast a five-pound chicken, that is. And that chicken has to be quartered, you know. Besides that, there are only…nine more rules:

1. Preheat oven to 400-degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Season the chicken well with salt and freshly ground black pepper on each side.

3. Sauté the legs skin side down over high heat in a pan with a bit of oil. Cook until the skin is brown and crispy; check on it frequently to make sure it does not burn.

4. Transfer the legs to a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil. Bake for 10 minutes.

5. While the legs are roasting, saute the breasts as you did the legs.

6. Once the legs have been roasting for 10 minutes, add the breasts to the sheet pan and reduce the heat to 375-degrees. Cook for 10 minutes more.

7. Reduce the heat again to 350-degrees and roast for an additional 10 minutes.

8. Remove the chicken from the oven and allow to rest for 5-10 minutes.

9. Eat as is–I won’t judge you, it’s delicious–or stay tuned for Parts Two and Three to make it special enough to eat in your underwear. Stick with me and you’ll end up with something that looks like this:

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One of my new favorite words is “farce”. French for “stuffing”, farce is a great way to sneak extra flavor into an ordinary meal and utilize those leftovers otherwise waiting to rot in the back of the refrigerator.

We made this in class:

And I made this in my underwear:

(Couldn’t eat it in my underwear, though. There were people around.)

To make my version, you’ll need to gather a few items:

-boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs (trimmed of excess fat, pounded thin)

-mild Italian sausage (in bulk, or casings removed)

-leftover apple-onion chutney (recipe featured in the post, “if it’s got goat cheese…“)

-toothpicks (don’t use broken up skewers, like I did. That’s just ridiculous)

S & P

flour

eggs (beaten)

ground pretzels (d.i.y.)

oil

Lay the breasts or thighs flat. Stuff with a bit of sausage and chutney. Do not over-stuff; you’ll end up getting frustrated and making a mess. I promise.

Roll the chicken tightly and secure with toothpicks. Season the outside with S & P. Coat the farced chicken in flour, then egg, then ground pretzels. Brown on all sides in oil over medium-high heat to create a crispy, golden crust. Finish in a 375-degree Fahrenheit oven until cooked through, about 20-25 minutes.