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Ah, you’ve returned. Well good. Now we can get back to that chicken.

To back up just a bit, instead of placing the quartered chicken on a plain old baking sheet, let’s add some color. Chop five or so medium leeks and clean well. Scatter them on a sheet pan lined with aluminum foil and drizzle with oil and a touch of S & P. When cooking the chicken, lay them directly on the leeks. All other steps outlined in Part One remain the same.

While the chicken is cooking, peel and dice potatoes and butternut squash and boil in water in two separate pots. Once they are fork-tender, drain, combine in one pot and mash or whisk until smooth. Season with butter, S & P.

Now, there’s one more installment in The Perfect Roasted Chicken Series. I know you’re thinking, Damn–how could this recipe get any better? Come back tomorrow to find out.

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Every time you roast a five-pound chicken, that is. And that chicken has to be quartered, you know. Besides that, there are only…nine more rules:

1. Preheat oven to 400-degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Season the chicken well with salt and freshly ground black pepper on each side.

3. Sauté the legs skin side down over high heat in a pan with a bit of oil. Cook until the skin is brown and crispy; check on it frequently to make sure it does not burn.

4. Transfer the legs to a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil. Bake for 10 minutes.

5. While the legs are roasting, saute the breasts as you did the legs.

6. Once the legs have been roasting for 10 minutes, add the breasts to the sheet pan and reduce the heat to 375-degrees. Cook for 10 minutes more.

7. Reduce the heat again to 350-degrees and roast for an additional 10 minutes.

8. Remove the chicken from the oven and allow to rest for 5-10 minutes.

9. Eat as is–I won’t judge you, it’s delicious–or stay tuned for Parts Two and Three to make it special enough to eat in your underwear. Stick with me and you’ll end up with something that looks like this:

I’ve never been a fan of chicken wings. The bottled glowing hot sauce that stains the corners of your mouth and seeps into your fingertips, the thick layer of soggy chicken skin, the mere essence of meat—meh. But since football season is underway, I am expected at the very least to keep my eyes open while the Colts play. To do this, I keep busy by cooking and cracking beers. Lots of beers. Donning an oversize Peyton Manning jersey—more moo-moo than flirty cheerleader outfit—I prepared what was to be my antidote to the standard chicken wing.

Combine the zest and juice of a lime, canola oil, red pepper flakes, minced garlic and minced fresh ginger in a large bowl. Add whole chicken wings (tips and all, because, well, I like the way it looks) to the bowl and mix with your hands to coat. Marinate the chicken for 2 hours, turning every 30 minutes to ensure even flavor distribution.

(It almost feels wrong, posting that picture.)

Sear the wings on both sides in a pan over high heat to give them a nice dark brown color. Transfer to the oven; cook for 7 minutes at 450-degrees Fahrenheit. Without removing the wings from the oven, reduce the heat to 400-degrees and cook for an additional 8 minutes. While the chicken is cooking, make the sauce: strain the marinade, bring to a boil, and season with S & P as needed. Pour the sauce over the wings and serve as I did, in a big-ass bowl (more of a bucket, really). Eat them straight from the bucket, and have a roll of paper towels on hand to catch the juices running down your hands. Drink with cheap, crappy beer; the wings are so damn tasty, they’ll make even a PBR taste like a fine microbrew.