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No, I’m not Jewish. And no, I didn’t learn how to cook latkes from an old Jewish bubbeleh. I won’t be offended if you stop reading right n-

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Grate potatoes and onion onto a clean kitchen towel. Season with S & P and let the potatoes stand for a minute or two. Wring out the majority of the excess liquid. Place mounds of the shredded potatoes into a hot pan with oil and pack them down to form cakes. Cook on each side until evenly golden brown and crispy outside, and tender inside; add additional oil as needed. Top with sour cream (or plain, non-fat Greek yogurt for lighter fare), applesauce or both. (Do both. Do it.)

These are so simple and tasty, it’ll be a feat if they make it to the plate. You’ll want to eat them with your hands, in your underwear, hunched over the counter. Just don’t let your Jewish grandmother catch you.

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