fried rice fit for a man…

…but made for a woman.

My someone special had to work this Saturday morning, so I had free reign over his entire apartment. Of course, my stomach immediately directed me to the kitchen. I was told that “believe it or not, there is food” but that I may have to “look for it”. This was the most truth I had heard all week.

There was a packet of Knorr Rice Sides in the cabinet, something that could move on to bigger and better things. There were also frozen mixed veggies, which, alone, are lifeless but tolerable when disguised among other ingredients. There were also eggs that were well past their expiration date, a reality I so conveniently ignored.

These three sad items were salvation from my late-morning brunch craving.

Prepare the rice according to the package’s directions. (You could always use leftover rice, but you’ll have to add seasoning, and, quite frankly, this post can’t help you with that.) Transfer to a hot pan with canola oil and fry the rice until crispy and dark golden brown throughout. Dump in thawed frozen veggies and stir to heat through. Pour in a beaten egg or two and stir until just cooked, about one minute.

You shouldn’t have to do much more than that, since the rice contains a hell of a lot of sodium and other junk to make it taste like “chicken” (or cheddar and broccoli or beef or mushroom…). Perhaps a slosh of hot sauce would finish this off quite nicely.

I wolfed down more than I’d care to admit, and welcomed my S.S. with the remains. His response? “Is there any more?”

No, sorry.